Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
So vagazzling was a success
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize