her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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