Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Such a big mess for such a small penis
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
