You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
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