I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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