Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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