I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
