so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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