They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
