Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
