u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
