Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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