they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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