So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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