My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
