I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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