You can't motorboat a personality
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
