So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
