just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize
