did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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