thus making me awesome and them whores
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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