Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
