How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize