Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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