We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
