Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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