ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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