I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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