Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
