Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
