i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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