There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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