please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
