Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize