you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Randomize