Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
