My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
