just come out here and I will go home with you...
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
