if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
