guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
