Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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