Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Randomize
