I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
This toilet bowl is my home.
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