i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Pants are for mortals
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize
