I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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