...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i need an iv and a liver transplant
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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