She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
