So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
