I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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