I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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