I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Randomize
