Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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