Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I am mentally ready for anal.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
