Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
