he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
