is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Pants are for mortals
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
