he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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