worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
