I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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