I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
