well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
