Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
