the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
