just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
sex in a hospital.. check
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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