When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
