This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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