I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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