the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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