Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize